One night John comes home really really late.
When he walks in the door, his wife is waiting for him. "Where the hell have you been?", she asks."I was out getting a tattoo", he replies. "What the hell did you get? and where?", she asks. "I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis.", John answers. "Why in the world would you get a hundred dollar bill on your penis???" she wondered. "Well for a few reasons", he replied.

"One..because I like to watch my money grow, two because sometimes I like to play with my money and three because whenever you get the urge to go out and spend money on shoes, I figured you could just stay here and blow $100."